Since a fairly predictable and (for the most part) lacklustre Wrestlemania, WWE has been on something of a hot streak where PPVs are concerned, with Payback and Money in the Bank in particular being very strong offerings. Summerslam has traditionally been one of the biggest events of the year, but this year's card looked a little thin at the outset. No Tag Title match, no Intercontinental Title match, no Divas Title match, and superstars lacking scheduled matches included Big Show, Mark Henry, Randy Orton (or so it would seem...), Antonio Cesaro, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Ryback, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, and many more. In addition, the build-up - the two main event matches excepted - was underwhelming; the trope of 'challenger beats champion in a non-title match to set up a title match' which has been overused recently to set up midcard championship bouts seems to have infested the World Heavyweight Title scene. However, the show was basically being sold almost entirely on the back of these two main event face-offs; John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan and Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk. The storylines behind both of these matches were developed brilliantly, and there was a real 'big fight feel' surrounding them. But did Summerslam as a whole live up to the very high standards of recent WWE? Well, that's what I'm here for!
Pre-Show: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam (WWE United States Championship)
As my previous reviews have made clear, I bloody love RVD. Yet I viewed his return to WWE with some trepidation. He's in his forties now, and his work during his spell in TNA wasn't exactly inspiring; it was, shall we say, a little ponderous. Happily, it seems that this state of affairs was more due to lack of motivation than his losing a step in the ring (and honestly, if I'd been working for TNA around the time Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff started running the show, I wouldn't have been too motivated either), and since reappearing in WWE, he's put on several very fine matches, especially his first outing back on Raw in which he defeated Chris Jericho. RVD earned his shot at Dean Ambrose by winning a battle royal in which he outlasted nineteen other superstars, most notably Mark Henry, who showed his respect to the victor after the match, and Ryback, who didn't, possibly because he and RVD get their leotards from the same place and it's become a little awkward.
My assumption was that RVD was in this match because he likes to take moves by landing right on the top of his head (like so - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n9EuysP4XQ), and Ambrose's as-yet-unnamed finisher impacts the opponent's head. This isn't what happened. But I'm not complaining, as this was yet another solid display from two very talented wrestlers; one coming towards the end of his career, and one just starting out.
The first thing to note is that Ambrose played the villain to absolute perfection here, turning his deranged, almost feral persona up to 11. The crowd (mostly - there were a few chants of 'LET'S GO AMBROSE!') booed him like crazy, and cheered RVD to the rafters, which is exactly what you want to start off a show; a heel who can whip the crowd into a frenzy, and a high-flying exciting performer to go up against him. The thing about RVD matches is that you know what you're getting; Rolling Thunder, split-legged moonsault, springboard attacks of various kinds, kicks that don't look entirely pulled, spinning leg drop to the outside, Five-Star Frog Splash (all being well). But repetition isn't the point; first, all these moves are inherently awesome, and second, they're very fresh to the WWE crowd, because RVD has been away for so long. It's hard to imagine a crowd in, say, Dragon Gate (a Japanese promotion specialising in all kinds of flippity-flips) treating RVD with such amazement, but he had the Staples Centre in Los Angeles eating out of the palm of his hand, and it was glorious.
RVD looked like he had the match won when he went up top to deliver the death blow to Ambrose, but his Shield cohorts Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns made their way through the audience in order to put 'The Whole F'N Show' off his stride. Thankfully, Big Show and Mark Henry came out to even the odds and attempt to ensure that RVD could proceed unmolested. This tactic worked well, until RVD finally hit the Frog Splash, at which point Reigns entered the ring and speared him out of his boots, drawing the disqualification but saving his ally's title.
Between Ambrose's heel mannerisms and RVD's spectacular offence, this was an ideal opening match. I assume they're building up towards Show and Henry challenging for the tag titles, which I would personally love to see, if only for the morbid fascination of seeing the heaviest tag team WWE could possibly come up with, unless they brought Andre the Giant back from the dead and paired him up with the bloke from that Channel 4 documentary. Anyway, I love RVD and Ambrose is a great heel, so thumbs up here. Rating: ***
One criticism I'd make of the show is that it took a while to get going; we had commercials, The Miz's opening spiel, Fandango's interrupting of said spiel, The Star-Spangled Banner (at least with the British national anthem, it's bad but it's over quickly), and the opening pyro. You might have thought that after all that, they'd have scheduled another exciting, fast-paced match. You'd have thought wrong...
Match 1: Kane vs. Bray Wyatt (w/ Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) (Ring of Fire Match)
This match, like that in the pre-show, had an established veteran paired with a young prospect bolstered by two stablemates. That's about where the similarities end.
Regarding the match stipulation, no, WWE hasn't started naming match types after songs by overrated singers. A Ring of Fire match closely resembles an Inferno Match, which is to Kane as the Buried Alive Match is to his brother The Undertaker; i.e. it's his signature gimmick match, but he almost never wins. Sadly, however, this wasn't an Inferno Match; the object of the match was not to set your opponent on fire, but simply to pin them. The flames were simply there to stop the other two members of Bray Wyatt's 'family' from interfering. And to look cool. Which they did.
Kane, in recent months, has been something of a comedy character, but the beauty of Kane is that he's so imposing and has such a rich backstory that he can be 'reset' to being an absolute monster at a moment's notice. The Wyatt Family are a unique and disturbing cult of Deep South backwoodsmen, led by the charismatic preacher-figure Bray Wyatt, whose professed motives are wreathed in opaque, almost poetic language. Their attack on Kane, WWE's resident eldritch abomination, appears to be a proclamation of their lack of fear of even the monstrous, and when Wyatt was challenged to this match by Kane, he simply laughed. All very interesting stuff.
Then we got the match itself, which is where the problems arise. On one hand, the visuals were very striking, with the flames surrounding the ring shooting up in the air with every slam. The contest started out promisingly, with both men showing surprising agility for their size, trading attempted strikes and reactive dodges. Kane eventually got the upper hand, at which point Wyatt decided to call on his followers for aid. They attempted to hand him a kendo stick, but it caught on fire. Then they tried to use a fire extinguisher to...well, extinguish the flames. No dice. Kane then chokeslammed Wyatt, chokeslammed him again, decided that wasn't enough, then set him up for the Tombstone. Finally, Harper and Rowan remembered what they were taught at school and used a massive towel to quell the flames, rushed the ring and beat up Kane, allowing Wyatt to hit his finisher and pin the Big Red Machine.
My first issue with the match is that the business with the kendo stick and the fire extinguisher was funny, both to me and to the crowd. Considering the eerie and often disquieting build to the match, the dynamic between the characters, and the inherent danger of the fire, it was tonally jarring. My second, and much more major, issue, was that Kane used his finisher twice on Wyatt, and was attempting a third when the interference came. In both this match and the pre-show, the veteran would have emerged triumphant were it not for the cheating of their opponents. The difference is that Ambrose and RVD had a competitive match, and looked like equals. Kane obliterated Wyatt in the end, to the point of castiga excesivo. I will allow that Kane's repeated chokeslamming of Wyatt made the newcomer look like a psychological threat, in that Kane was so caught up in inflicting punishment on his tormentor that he forgot about the match. But a contest in which Wyatt looked like more of a physical threat to Kane would have done more for him, particularly as this was Wyatt's first match on WWE television.
So all in all, I'm honestly not sure how to rate this match. I'll be adding points because the flames were cool; sue me. But the lack of time and substance afforded to the match, coupled with the issues with the booking, lead me to conclude that this was not all that it could have been. And new wrestlers need a good first match to give them the best chance at succeeding; look at The Shield's first match. Now that was epic. Rating: *1/2
Match 2: Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow
On one hand, I'm bemoaning the loss of Team Rhodes Scholars, a delightfully despicable heel tag team, due to the falling out between its members (Sandow beat Rhodes for the Money in the Bank contract, acted condescending and superior about it, Rhodes got the hump, started brawling with Sandow, stole the briefcase and threw it in the Gulf of Mexico, Sandow unveiled a fine leather replacement in keeping with his upper-class intellectual character). On the other hand, this match ruled. It was wrestled at a fair lick, which I enjoyed, considering that Sandow is more known for his methodical, albeit intense, offense. In short, it felt like a grudge match. No opening mat-based exchanges here, just two rivals wanting to beat the crap out of each other. Diversity in match styles is always good.
The finish, with Rhodes simply pulling Sandow away from the ropes and hitting CrossRhodes, came a little abruptly, but that's a minor fault in what was a thoroughly entertaining match. Rhodes, now that he's a face, has incorporated flashier manoeuvres into his arsenal (especially the Muscle Buster, which invariably looks brutal even if it's being delivered by a man much less beefy than Samoa Joe, its most notable exponent.) Looking at the durations of the night's bouts, I'm staggered that this one lasted less than seven minutes. They packed so much in, and in so intense a fashion, that it felt much longer, and much more substantial than your average short Raw or Smackdown match. I assume this is only the start of their rivalry, so I look forward to seeing what else these two men can conjure up. Rating: ***1/4
Match 3: Alberto del Rio (c) vs. Christian (World Heavyweight Championship)
This was predictably great. Both of these men would struggle to have a bad match with anyone, and when put together they delivered a gem that will probably be overlooked in favour of the two main event matches when assessments of this PPV are delivered in the coming years. But while it wasn't up to the standards of those bouts, it was excellent on its own merits.
The thing I like most about WWE PPVs is that the wrestlers expand their movesets from what you see on free TV; you might see John Cena essaying a hurracanrana, or CM Punk delivering a moonsault (they don't do those moves that well, but there are other examples). You also get counters to expected signature moves; part of the pleasure of watching a major Cena match is when his predictable shoulderblock-shoulderblock-Protobomb-Five Knuckle Shuffle combination is interrupted. Christian was especially good at that here, playing the part of the wily veteran to perfection to stay one step ahead of the younger man's corner enzuguiri and Cross Armbreaker.
He held out in this way for as long as he could, but del Rio's targeting of his arm paid off in the end. I'm a sucker for limb targeting by wrestlers with a submission finisher. You'd think that was the bare minimum to expect, but I've watched a lot of Miz matches in which his work softening up his opponents for the Figure Four Leg Lock entirely consists of a single kick to the thigh. Del Rio's different; he's clinical and forensic. I remember last year watching a match in which del Rio challenged Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship, and I was with a friend who has barely watched wrestling since 2001 (but who knows enough to know that Kane and The Undertaker are both awesome). He saw del Rio working over Sheamus' arm and said "Wow, he's actually using a strategy and targeting a single body part...he's going to lose, isn't he?" Sure enough, Sheamus shrugged off del Rio's arm work and hit his finisher out of nowhere for the win. So it's nice when limb targeting plays into the finish of a match. Christian nailed del Rio with a spear, and could have pinned him, but in hitting the move he aggravated his already damaged shoulder, which gave del Rio an opening to apply his submission and force Christian to tap out.
The finish and the inventive counters were by no means the only great things about this match. Like Rhodes vs. Sandow, they fit a lot into the time they had, and there were some inventive spots, such as del Rio's Backstabber off the second rope. This would have been the best match on a lot of shows, but then Summerslam 2013 was not most shows. Maybe Christian will get another opportunity at the World Title, and if he does, I hope he comes armed with a finisher that takes less than ten minutes to set up. Rating: ***3/4
Match 4: Natalya (w/ Cameron and Naomi) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella and Eva Marie)
This came about due to happenings on Total Divas. If you're not aware, Total Divas is a reality show starring the women involved in this match, which is running on the E! Network. I've not watched it and have no plans to, but it's drawing higher ratings than TNA. Awkward. Anyway, while I may dislike reality television as a whole, I don't see any harm in the concept if it helps get divas apart from AJ and Kaitlyn over with the crowd.
Judging by the audience reaction to this match, it's going to be a long old process. The Staples Centre was chanting for JBL and Jerry Lawler throughout. Look, LA; you were a great crowd for the most part, but stop trying to be East Rutherford. No crowd should try to be East Rutherford; the Raw after Wrestlemania comes about once a year, and any lesser attempts to recreate the atmosphere end up smacking of hipsterdom. Furthermore, the 'chant random things' game played in East Rutherford happened in a different context than it did here. The New Jersey crowd shitting all over Sheamus vs. Randy Orton could be seen as justified for a few reasons; it was a match between two (fairly directionless at the time) faces, it was a bait-and-switch to replace a promised encounter involving the Big Show, and it was pretty chinlock-heavy. East Rutherford at least waited a few minutes before deciding to shit all over the match, whereas here, LA seemed determined not to take an interest in Natalya vs. Brie from the get-go, which seemed pretty disrespectful to the performers.
As it happens, there wasn't much wrong with this match at all. It was fairly basic, but not bad (except I wish Natalya would sit down on her Sharpshooter a little more). It started off with an exchange of slaps, which made me uneasy at first, because the performers in women's wrestling tend to be written differently to the men (how many times do we see a male performer having a temper tantrum after a loss?) However, later in the night Cena and Bryan had an exchange of slaps, because someone had clearly been watching Minoru Suzuki - a Japanese MMA badass-cum-wrestler nicknamed 'The Ill-Natured Man', who will slap the shit out of you and everything you care about - and realized that far from being a technique for catfights, slapping someone in the face actually really bloody hurts. So that was fine. What was less fine was the usual 'catfight' spot from the women on the outside, where they rush each other and start clawing and choking each other on the floor, which resembles wrestling about as much as my lethargic roundhouse kick attempts resemble Chuck Norris. But you can't have everything. Following some botched interference from her seconds, Brie got caught in the Sharpshooter and was forced to tap. Short but competently executed, and inoffensive. Rating: **1/4
Match 5: Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. CM Punk (No Disqualification Match)
Before this match, Heyman did an interview where he called the Bible revisionist history and suggested that Goliath recovered from the slingshot and defeated David. This is a promotion that once ran a tag match on pay-per-view in which Vince and Shane McMahon faced off against Shawn Michaels and GOD, so I shouldn't expect any reverence for religious orthodoxy, nor indeed would I want to. Heyman's a heel, so he can basically do what the hell he likes. And he does.
The first thing to note here is that the build-up did a fantastic job of making Punk seem the underdog, playing up the size difference, and Lesnar's freakish physical strength. This continued into the match; nobody can dish out a pro wrestling beating like Brock Lesnar, and the brutality on show (even when Brock wasn't using weapons) made the crowd get even more behind Punk than they already were, as the smaller man used his speed and high-flying ability to try and get the upper hand. Big Man vs. Small Man contests are a staple of wrestling, and you'll rarely find it done better than it was here. Punk looked tough as hell even in defeat, by simply withstanding the onslaught from the Beast Incarnate, and notably by no-selling a powerbomb at one point, such was his will to win. You don't need to beat Brock Lesnar to look like a million dollars, which is why having John Cena beat him in his return match was a stupid decision (despite the fact that the contest was fantastic).
Where the two main event matches were concerned, the stars really did align on this night. Even the botches added to Punk vs. Lesnar. Punk's Diving Elbow Drop is, in all honesty, a little bit sloppy, and the first one he did at Summerslam was one of the worst. He pretty much just fell from the top rope in an ungainly manner, and landed on Lesnar's face with his thigh. It wasn't a thing of beauty, but within the context of the match it fit perfectly, adding to the kitchen-sink approach to offense by both men.
Another thing that was done really well were the MMA elements. Punk, while he's no expert, and would probably get destroyed in UFC, has some knowledge of jiu-jitsu, and used it to good effect, not just in his usual kicks, but in assailing Lesnar with a triangle choke and a cross armbreaker at a couple of points. I do find it funny that in MMA these two holds appear in the arsenal of most, if not all, fighters, whereas in the WWE context, Punk was stealing the finishers of The Undertaker and Alberto del Rio, but that's by the by. It wasn't overdone, and the match appeared less like a shoot-style contest than a proper pro wrestling match with MMA influence, which I think is the right way to play it in a WWE ring. Incorporating MMA is a good thing as long as a promotion doesn't dilute the essence of wrestling by going too far (for example, by putting your heavyweight title on Bob freaking Sapp. NJPW hasn't always been awesome).
The two wrestlers made great use of the No Disqualification stipulation, in more inventive ways than you see in your common or garden TV hardcore match. Lesnar took the covering from the announcers' table, placed in on top of Punk then stomped on it; Punk did a Diving Elbow Drop while holding a chair and driving said chair into Lesnar's skull; Punk bit Lesnar's ear to get out of a submission. Coupled with the stiffness of Lesnar's moves (especially a couple of wince-inducing powerbombs), it all added up to a contest that felt like a real ordeal.
In the end, Punk finally managed to hit Lesnar with the GTS, which Brock sold wonderfully, going down like he'd been shot. Heyman ran in and broke up the count. Punk managed a second GTS, and tried to finish off Lesnar with the Anaconda Vice, whereupon Heyman ran in again, this time with a chair. Punk, seeing an opportunity to at long last get his hands on Heyman, decked him and locked in the Anaconda Vice on his one-time manager. Lesnar recovered, F5ed Punk onto the chair, and that was that. There's a fine line between having outside interference detract from a match and having it add to the story. At Money in the Bank, Heyman's interference in the match brought what was an exciting, high-flying six-way match to a grinding halt. Here, it played into the dynamic that Punk's emotions got the better of him; he was more interested in hurting Heyman than beating Lesnar, and it cost him. This was, all in all, one of the best matches you'll see all year. And yet, you could make the argument that it wasn't even the best match on the show... Rating: ****3/4
Match 6: Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston and AJ Lee (Mixed Tag Team Match)
It's clear that WWE are holding out on blowing off the singles feuds between these two pairs for PPVs when they don't have two huge main events as guaranteed selling points, so this tag match is what we got instead. It was too short to really mean a great deal, but provided some entertaining moments. Big E. Langston has amazing agility for his size, and watching him go to work on Ziggler was exhilarating. And I will never get tired of seeing Kaitlyn spear the hell out of AJ, which she did yet again, only this time on the outside of the ring. This led to Ziggler nailing Langston with the Zig Zag and picking up the win. I don't buy the Zig Zag as a one-hit kill move, as it really is quite a basic manoeuvre, so it looked odd that it slew Langston, despite the fact that Ziggler had only a fraction of the offense that his former lackey did. Bit of a nothingy match, but perfectly serviceable. Rating: **1/2
Main Event: John Cena (c) vs. Daniel Bryan (WWE Championship, with Special Guest Referee Triple H)
The story behind this requires a bit of unpacking. Raw General Manager Brad Maddox allowed Cena to pick his own opponent, and Cena chose the uber-popular Daniel Bryan, an excellent technician struggling to have the WWE higher-ups take him seriously, on account of his small stature. Maddox and WWE owner Vince McMahon belittled Bryan publicly, while WWE Chief Operating Officer Triple H backed him. Bryan sought to draw a distinction between Cena as 'a sports entertainer' and himself as 'a wrestler' with a greater passion for the business. Cena told him that HE'D HAVE TO EARN THIS WWE CHAMPIONSHIP, JACK. Vince argued with Triple H while Triple H's wife (and Vince's daughter) Stephanie found herself caught in the middle of it all. Vince tried to install his puppet Maddox as Special Referee for the title match, but Triple H overruled him and took on the role himself, to ensure a fair fight. Meanwhile, Money in the Bank winner Randy Orton lurked in the background, reminding both participants in the title match that he could demand a shot at the gold at any time.
Have you got all that?
I know the 'YOU CAN'T WRESTLE' chants have become part of the John Cena Experience, the paradigm of the divisive superstar. But this match demonstrated once and for all that the chant isn't based in truth. Cena is by no means a bad wrestler (he got an entertaining match out of The Great Khali, for Heaven's sake), it's just that he tends to work at the level of his opponent. If he's wrestling Big Show or Brodus Clay, it's probably not going to be that good. When he's facing off with one of the best in the world, like CM Punk or Daniel Bryan, it's invariably fantastic. The opening few minutes looked more like World of Sport than anything, with both competitors vying for supremacy on the mat. It soon spilled to the outside, with Cena drilling Bryan with a suplex off the ring steps. He followed that up with a Batista Bomb when they got back into the ring. I thought it was a bit early in the match for a high-impact move such as that, but when the biggest criticism you can make of a match is that 'John Cena used a really awesome move at a weird time', you know a match was something special.
The technical aspect of the match was excellent; I've already mentioned the mat wrestling, but the submission counters, as STF transitioned into Yes Lock and back again, were very well implemented. Bryan even got Cena with an STF of his own at one point, and characteristically did it much better. But the high-impact moves were equally as good; Bryan used his kicks to great effect, and utilised a variety of throws including a leg-capture German Suplex which was particularly gorgeous. Cena's more limited offense looked as good as it's ever done, especially his Flying Leg Drop to the back of the neck, and he even gave as good as he got in the strike department, countering Bryan's running dropkick with a stiff lariat that would make even Stan Hansen say, "Whoa, that's a bit much!"
As with Punk vs. Lesnar, even the botches added to the match. At one point Bryan attempted to hurricanrana Cena off the top rope, only to get caught. I'm not sure if Cena was going for a powerbomb or a Styles Clash, but he ended up caught between those two moves and accidentally giving Bryan a Ganso Bomb (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzhnSjCAmhE) which in terms of deadly 90s Japanese finishers ranks somewhere between Kenta Kobashi's Burning Hammer and Kenta Kobashi's MOONSAULT ONTO YOUR FUCKING FACE. Don't mess with Kenta Kobashi, basically. Thankfully Bryan wasn't hurt and Cena transitioned nicely into an STF, and the flub only served to make Bryan look tougher.
I have to say that before the match, I thought Bryan had a good chance of winning. He was certainly a more credible threat to Cena than Ryback or Mark Henry, two strong but fairly one-dimensional wrestlers. I just didn't know exactly how Bryan was going to beat Cena, considering that his finisher is a submission, and that Cena hasn't tapped out since 2003. I thought that Bryan might win by catching Cena unawares with a small package (in ROH, Bryan became such a dominant champion that he decided to start trolling his opponents by trying to beat them with a small package, even, hilariously, taking on the moniker of 'Mr. Small Package'), but that would hardly have been a decisive or satisfying end to an epic match like this. I needn't have worried. Bryan went to the corner, then absolutely LEVELLED Cena with a running knee strike (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXJk3IQrdU0), pinning him to win the title for the first time. Now that's how you debut a new finisher!
An absolutely wonderful match, and all the more remarkable considering that Cena's elbow was damaged, and that he went in for surgery the day after the match. Simply sublime, and a great moment to have Bryan cleanly and decisively winning. Great stuff. Rating: ****3/4
After the match, streamers and confetti dropped from the ceiling as Bryan basked in the glow of his victory. Then Randy Orton's music hit. That's OK, I thought, it's not as though Bryan's in a vulnerable position to be cashed in on. As soon as I had that notion, Triple H grabbed Bryan and hit the Pedigree, to much consternation. Orton then handed his briefcase to the referee and the match began.
Money in the Bank Cash-In: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship)
Orton rolled Bryan over and Triple H counted the pin. The end. I can't really give this a rating, even though technically every move in the match was executed flawlessly. Rating: N/A
Orton and Triple H celebrated with the belt, so it looks like we have a new corporate heel faction. Should be interesting.
Overall, Summerslam didn't have the consistency of the previous two WWE PPVs, but Cena vs. Bryan and Punk vs. Lesnar are both in my Top 3 matches of the year, and it was complemented by (mostly) solid action, so once again, my thumbs are in the upright position.
Glossary
Stable - A group of wrestlers allied to each other
Castiga excesivo - A rule from Mexican lucha libre; essentially, if one wrestler is more intent on inflicting extra punishment on an opponent at a point where they could have simply pinned them and won the match, they can be disqualified
Shoot-style - a wrestling match where the outcome is still predetermined, but it's presented to look like a legitimate MMA fight
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