Pages

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Five Types of Wrestling

So I haven't been reviewing the WWE pay-per-views recently, because a) I've been very busy with work and b) they've been churning them out at a rate of approximately one every three weeks and they've all sort of merged into one.  You'll get nothing offensively horrible, a couple of great matches on each show, and a dodgy finish in the main event.  I think it'll start getting more interesting coming up to the Royal Rumble, which is always a highlight of the year.

But I want to keep my eye in, so I thought I'd do something different.  Basically, I'm going to give an example of a wrestling match that I think encapsulates a particular type of wrestling, whether you class 'type' in terms of the booking or the wrestling itself.  This won't necessarily be the best match in a certain style, but one that provides the most pertinent example of it.  And I'll do this with five distinct types, starting with a style of match that will probably be most familiar to the average wrestling fan.

Attitude Era Clusterfuck

The Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin (c) vs. Dude Love (For the WWF Championship, with Special Guest Referee Vince McMahon, Special Guest Ring Announcer Pat Patterson, Special Guest Timekeeper Gerald Briscoe, and Special Guest Enforcer The Undertaker)

WWF Over the Edge, 31 May 1998


The so-called Attitude Era is nebulous in terms of temporality, though most critics agree that it ended on 1 April 2001, for two main reasons.  Firstly, the WWF's main competitors, WCW and ECW, had gone out of business within weeks of each other, leaving the WWF as the only game in town.  Secondly, the event, widely regarded as one of the greatest pro wrestling shows of all time, ended with Stone Cold Steve Austin winning the WWF Championship with the aid of the villainous WWF owner Vince McMahon.  As for why that was such a big deal, this match should give you some indication.

Stone Cold vs. Vince McMahon was the defining feud of the Attitude Era.  Stone Cold was the pre-eminent anti-hero of pro wrestling, at a time when crowds were generally unreceptive to the traditional clean-cut hero that Hulk Hogan had been in the 1980s, the last boom period for the WWF.  He was a surly, beer-swilling redneck who would beat people up, sometimes women, for little reason.  But he became beloved for his take-no-prisoners attitude, and the fact that he was ranged against the corporate machine of McMahon, who needed Austin in his company because he was embroiled in a real-life ratings war with WCW, but couldn't stand to have the man representing the company as champion.  Following failed attempts to persuade Austin to become more corporate and well-behaved, McMahon hand-picked fun-loving hippy Dude Love (one of the three alter-egos of the legendary Mick Foley), gave him a 'corporate' makeover, and arranged this match with the deck stacked against Austin, so that Dude Love would emerge triumphant.

The style of storytelling in the Attitude Era consisted of edgy, adult-oriented content, coupled with shocking, often nonsensical storyline twists, in order to gain the precious ratings to beat WCW, and to propagate the idea that "anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation".  The style of main event match in the Attitude Era generally relied upon wild brawling and outside interference, and this bout has the latter in spades.  McMahon is the referee, and his two stooges, Patterson and Briscoe, were on hand at ringside to ensure Dude Love's victory.  When Dude Love gets counted out, McMahon changes the rules so that there are no count-outs.  When Dude Love cheats, McMahon changes the rules so that there are no disqualifications.  And amidst all the chaos, Jim Ross, the greatest wrestling commentator of all time, is making clear his utter outrage at what is taking place.  And as if that wasn't enough, The Undertaker is there as 'enforcer' to stop the funny business getting too out of hand.  As for wild brawling, guys get slammed onto cars, through tables, get choked with barbed wire, and everything you can imagine.  If you looked up 'clusterfuck' in the dictionary, you'd see the finish to this match, as Stone Cold desperately fights against overwhelming odds, and The Undertaker finally decides to get involved and start wrecking shit.  This might actually be my favourite match of all time.  Watch it, it's awesome.

Alternatively...  The Rock (c) vs. Triple H (Iron Man Match for the WWF Championship, with Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels)

WWF Judgement Day, 21 May 2000


An Iron Man Match is one in which the participants must gain as many pins or submissions over their opponent as they can in one hour.  The first Iron Man Match was between Shawn Michaels and Bret 'The Hitman' Hart at Wrestlemania XII.  It was an hour of pure wrestling which ended with the score tied at 0-0, and Michaels won in overtime.  As for this one...special guest referee?  Check.  McMahon family involvement?  Check.  Beloved face against corporate-backed heel?  Check.  Nearly a dozen falls inside the hour as opposed to none?  You bet.  And if you thought the WWF at the time could sink an hour's worth of time into a match and complement the effort by refraining from including shenanigans and interference at the climax, you should think again.

Puroresu


The Match: Kenta Kobashi and Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. The Holy Demon Army (Toshiaki Kawada and Akira Taue) (For the AJPW World Tag Team Championship)

AJPW Super Power Series, 9 June 1995


Puroresu (the term coming from a corruption of 'pro wrestling') is Japan's particular form of staged in-ring combat, and like its Mexican variant, is distinct from the Western style.  Japanese wrestling is presented more as a legitimate athletic contest (wrestling results still appear in the 'Sports' section of Japanese newspapers), and there are fewer theatrics.  Storylines rarely, if ever, get more complex than two competitors trying to prove their supremacy or win a certain tournament of championship belt, or the trope of the Japanese patriot defending their promotion against a foreign invading force, usually American, which is a tradition that goes back to the 1950s, when wrestling first became popular in the country, and Japanese people, still resentful of defeat in World War 2, would come in their thousands to see Japanese heroes, such as the former sumo Rikidōzan, taking down huge Americans.  The style of wrestling is more reliant upon exchanges of martial arts strikes (which are not pulled in any way) than its American counterpart, with both competitors striving to show how tough they are, which is important in a culture than has traditionally respected stoicism and the warrior code.  There is also the trope of 'fighting spirit', in which the wrestlers will, by summoning up their strength and courage, shrug off their opponent's moves seemingly unharmed, which will be familiar to anyone who's watched virtually any Hulk Hogan match (the Hulkster was actually a huge star in Japan before he became famous in America.  Unlike in America, however, the Hulkster had to put some effort into his Japanese matches, as with no storylines for a promotion to fall back on, more emphasis has to be place on the quality of the in-ring entertainment).

All Japan Pro Wrestling (AJPW) in the 1990s is the most critically-acclaimed wrestling of all time in terms of match quality.  Their big main event matches were festooned with 5-star reviews by doyen of wrestling journalists Dave Meltzer, to the point where some All Japan wrestlers have more 5-star matches to their name than every North American promotion combined.  I could have chosen from literally dozens of 90s All Japan matches to illustrate puroresu, but I've chosen this one because of who the participants are.  Misawa, Kobashi and Kawada are frequently cited as amongst the best wrestlers of all time, and Taue is merely very good.  Collectively they became known as 'The Four Pillars of Heaven', and were mainstays of the promotion's main event scene for a decade.  This match illustrates all the main features of Japanese wrestling, from the strike exchanges, to 'fighting spirit', to the fact that All Japan at the time was engaged in a sort of finishing move arms race, as wrestlers needed more and more devastating moves to finish their battle-hardened opponents off, hence the numerous finisher kick-outs in this match (this arms race would eventually lead to the creation of so-called 'super finishers', which usually involved dropping a guy on his head, such as Kawada's Ganso Bomb, Misawa's Tiger Driver '91, and most famous of all, Kobashi's Burning Hammer).  This match, without having to resort to the use of weapons, is a hard-hitting, brutal contest, and a crowning moment in puroresu history.

I should also add that 'The Holy Demon Army' is a truly great name.  Like all good Japanese tag team names, it's bombastically awesome (my all-time favourites are 'Sternness' and 'Stack of Arms', for the record), and like all good Japanese tag team names, it makes no goddamn sense.

Alternatively...  Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Tomohiro Ishii

NJPW G1 Climax, 2 August 2013


I could have chosen many, many matches from this year's G1 Climax tournament, staged by New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW), All Japan's traditional rivals (although All Japan is now a shell of what it once was, while New Japan goes from strength to strength.  I basically chose this one at random, but it's useful in order to illustrate a couple of particular facets of puroresu.  Firstly, Japanese promotions love their tournaments; New Japan holds singles and tag teams tournaments for both heavyweights and junior heavyweights (i.e. wrestlers under 220 pounds).  Secondly, this match shows how the face/heel dynamic works in Japan.  With storylines being simple or non-existent, there is less back story to each character, and thus while most wrestlers are still positioned as good guy or bad guy, the crowd often chooses who to cheer and boo during a match of their own accord.  This is what happens here.  Tanahashi is the top star of the company and generally beloved by the fanbase.  However, Ishii is a cult favourite and a scrappy underdog, and the crowd get behind him more, so Tanahashi, realizing that he's less popular, starts to wrestle in more of a villainous manner as a result, which is a nicely organic way of telling stories in the ring.  Being a round-robin tournament in which two ostensible faces often end up fighting each other (and the same with heels), the G1 Climax is full of matches where the crowd picks a side without being guided there by a storyline, as in America.  This match is much more accessible to those who are used to American wrestling, and is wrestled at a fast pace while retaining traditional tropes of the Japanese style, including a truly brutal finish.

Lucha Libre

The Match: El Hijo del Santo and Octagón vs. Los Gringos Locos (Eddie Guerrero and 'Love Machine' Art Barr) (2 out of 3 falls Mask vs. Hair Tag Team Match)

AAA When Worlds Collide, 6 November 1994


Lucha libre (literally, 'free wrestling') is the particularly Mexican version of pro wrestling.  More emphasis is placed on high-flying and acrobatic artistry than big power moves, and its cultural status is different to something like the WWF/E, particularly when we consider the characteristic use of masks.  After the Mexican Revolution of 1910-1920, a reinscription of the Mexican national ideal occurred that embraced indigenous, pre-Columbian cultures and aesthetics, which led to masks gaining greater prominence in Mexican culture.  When pro wrestling first became popular in the country in the 1930s, many of the top stars wore masks, used to symbolise certain ideals and traits.  Pre-eminent amongst these was El Santo, the father of one of the participants in this match.  El Santo was arguably a bigger star in Mexico than Hulk Hogan was in America, not only wrestling but appearing in films and comic books.  As with comic book superheroes, masks are also used to hide the secret identities of the wrestlers, although the tradition pre-dates the so-called 'Golden Age' of comics.  When El Hijo del Santo's wife filed for divorce, she sent photos to the media purporting to be of him without his mask, thus hoping to humiliate him.  Of course, because El Hijo del Santo had never appeared in public without the mask, nobody knew what he actually looked like, and consequently the newspapers that received the pictures couldn't tell if they were genuine or not.

Because masks are so prized in Mexico, many of the big matches are what are called luchas de apuestas ('matches with wagers'), in which the participants must unmask if they lose.  Sometimes the forfeit is to be shaved bald, but losing the mask is more serious, as to be unmasked involuntarily is considered humiliating, and wrestlers who are unmasked must face their public uncertain if their new guise will be accepted or not.  Both masks and hair are on the line in this match, run by the Mexican promotion AAA but taking place in Los Angeles (known for its large Hispanic community).  Wagering their masks are the duo of the martial arts-inspired Octagón, and El Hijo del Santo, the son of the legend himself.  Wagering their hair are the nefarious Americans Eddie Guerrero and Art Barr.  So not only are masks and hair on the line, but national pride as well, and this dynamic has always been a feature of wrestling, from Hulk Hogan's battles with The Iron Sheik to Rikidōzan fighting off giant Americans in post-war Japan.  Guerrero and Barr do everything they can to cheat their way to victory, while the Mexicans just as tenaciously resist.  Considering that in WWF/E Eddie Guerrero (born in Texas but of Mexican descent) played up his Mexican heritage, it's quite a shock to see him in stars-and-stripes tights, but he plays the role of the arrogant Yankee very well here, as does his phenomenally talented partner, who sadly died of a drug overdose a couple of months after this match.

One thing to note is that this match is 2 out of 3 falls, which has been the traditional format for wrestling matches in Mexico.  AAA has moved away from it in recent years, but in CMLL, the oldest wrestling company in the world (founded in 1933), you'll barely find a match that is one fall to a finish.  In addition, the teams must pin both of their opponents to win a fall, and if you are pinned then your partner must fight alone until the next fall.  This makes the match a little tricky to follow at times, but once you get your head around the format, the spectacle is rewarding, with the combination of high-flying, national rivalry, and above all the sheer emotional weight the masks have for the fans.

Alternatively...  Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Rey Mysterio (Title vs. Mask Match for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship)

WCW Halloween Havoc, 26 October 1997



Eddie Guerrero is my favourite wrestler of all time.  When I was younger I loved his roguish character and his dazzling in-ring ability, and count myself fortunate that I got to see him wrestle in person before he passed on.  Rey Mysterio, who was only 22 years old at the time of this match, is one of the all time greats in lucha libre, and indeed in pro wrestling in general.

In the late 90s, everyone said that WWF had great matches in the main event but dodgy wrestling on the undercard.  In WCW the reverse was true.  Their main event was filled with guys who were past it (Rowdy Roddy Piper, Macho Man Randy Savage), guys who were never that good in the first place (Kevin Nash, Scott Hall), or guys who were both (Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger).  On the undercard, however, they had some fantastic wrestlers, especially their imports from Mexico, and WCW exposed a great number of viewers north of the border to lucha.  The Mexican wrestlers invariably lost when they came up against the big white guys who monopolized the main event scene, but when they faced each other and were given enough time to put on a quality match, the results could be spectacular.  So it is here.  This isn't traditional lucha libre in that it's one fall to a finish, but it's a wonderful match, and Mysterio in particular pulls out some jaw-dropping manoeuvres.  And, of course, there's a mask on the line.

Comedy Match


The Match: John Cena vs. Alberto del Rio (Miracle on 34th Street Fight)

WWE Monday Night Raw, 24 December 2012

Sadly I don't have a youtube video for this, but you'll be able to find this match elsewhere if you look hard enough.  Last Christmas Eve, the WWE, probably knowing that nobody would really be watching their TV show anyway, had a bit of fun and produced a Christmas-themed episode of Raw, centred around this match.  At the start of the show, Alberto del Rio, who at the time would drive to the ring in a fancy car, accidentally runs over Santa Claus (played by wrestling legend Mick Foley).  Backstage, del Rio is confronted by the entire locker room, faces and heels alike appalled at what he's done (indeed, even del Rio's own personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, can barely introduce his employer at the start of the bout because he's so distraught by the possible death of Father Christmas).  Before he falls unconscious, Santa requests that his injuries be avenged by John Cena, which leads to this match, a festive version of a regular Street Fight (hence the puntastic name of the bout) in which weapons can be found inside Christmas present boxes.  Inevitably, Cena's boxes include proper weapons like steel chairs and TV monitors, whereas the villain del Rio ends up with a pumpkin pie and a teddy bear, both of which he nevertheless attempts to use to take down Cena (throwing the latter item at his opponent with a cry like Braveheart).  The commentators, wonderfully, play the storyline completely straight and really sell the idea that Cena, with his battle cry, 'FOR SANTAAAAAAAAAAA!', is fighting to save Christmas.  The crowd get properly into it as well, regaling del Rio with chants of 'YOU KILLED SANTA', and urge Cena to 'USE THE TREE' as a weapon (Cena does).  Physical comedy, when done well, can be a beautiful thing, and this match delivers in spades, including, most hilariously of all, the idea that Cena is in danger of losing to a mere sleeper hold.  Not a technical masterpiece, of course, but really damn entertaining.

Alternatively...  3.0 (Scott 'Jagged' Parker and Shane Matthews) and Ultimate Gundam (Ebessan and Takoyakida) vs. Colt Cabana, Yohnel Sanders, Darkness Crabtree and The Swamp Monster (Eight-Man Tag Team Match)

CHIKARA King of Trios Night 3, 16 September 2012

No video link for this either.  Clearly the internet gods hate laughter.  CHIKARA is a small Pennsylvania-based promotion which has a cult following based on its family-friendly action, wacky characters (the number of wrestlers on their roster with ant gimmicks is almost at double figures) and fiendishly intricate comic-inspired storylines involving time travel, corporate conspiracies, ancient Egyptian artifacts, and much more.  One thing they do very well is comedy wrestling, and most of their matches will feature at least one moment in the action that is played for laughs.  However, rarely do they go as all-out on the hilarity front as in this contest.  On one team are two accomplished tag teams, one from CHIKARA and one from Japanese outfit Osaka Pro, and on the other team are noted comedy wrestler Colt Cabana, a Japanese man dressed like the KFC mascot (Yohel Sanders), a painfully slow and geriatric luchador (Darkness Crabtree, played by CHIKARA owner Mike Quackenbush under a mask), and a swamp monster (The Swamp Monster).  This match is a wonderfully deconstructive look at the tropes and idiosyncracies of pro wrestling, as both teams embark upon a series of events including; an introductory sing-song of the Canadian national anthem, intentionally botched rope-running and strike exchange sequences, seven men putting submission moves on each other at the same time, the referee attempting to win the match, impressions of Big Daddy and Hulk Hogan, and a mid-match game of Duck, Duck, Goose.  The CHIKARA crowd are characteristically awesome, at one point regaling Sanders with a chorus of 'The Birdie Song' as he runs wild on the other team.  I cannot fully conjure up the hilarious lunacy of this match with mere words, so seek it out if you can, it's well worth it.

Hardcore Wrestling


The Match: Edge, Mick Foley and Lita vs. Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicutty (No Disqualification Six-Person Intergender Tag Team Match)

ECW One Night Stand, 11 June 2006




Hardcore was a major element in the edgy WWF product in the Attitude Era, but was popularized by a small operation running out of a bingo hall in Philadelphia, called Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW).  All ECW matches were no-disqualification, and made liberal use of weapons.  Yet simply using weapons in a match does not denote 'hardcore' in itself; the Miracle on 34th Street Fight (see above) was family fun, despite all the chair shots.  Hardcore is an intensification of violence; even beyond such commonly used foreign objects as tables, ladders and chairs, ECW wrestlers used barbed wire, cheese graters, thumbtacks, and even let the fans supply their own instruments of pain.  Hardcore is also an aesthetic; ECW presented a TV show full of swearing and adult content, with much lower production values that WWF or WCW, and a DIY ethos (wrestlers pitched in with the running of the promotion, by organizing merchandise, answering phones or driving the bus).

Sad to say, I really haven't watched much of the original ECW.  But WWE, which bought the promotion after it went bankrupt in 2001, staged a pair of ECW reunion shows, named One Night Stand, in the mid-2000s.  The 2006 edition was less true to the spirit of ECW than the 2005 iteration (I'm not sure what Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton was doing on an ostensible ECW card), but it did contain this truly hardcore match.  WWE superstar Edge and 'Hardcore Legend' Mick Foley (who was actually a heel in ECW for most of his stint there) declared themselves co-holders of the Hardcore Championship and challenged ECW's finest to take them on.  Answering the challenge were 'The Innovator of Violence' Tommy Dreamer (the face of the original ECW promotion) and Terry Funk, 61 years old at the time of this match and still kicking ass.  Following a pre-match promo in which Foley hilariously trolls the rabid ECW crowd, Lita (the real-life girlfriend of Edge) and Beulah McGillicutty (the real-life wife of Dreamer) get added to the match.  This bout is a visceral feast of blood, violence (weapons include a board covered in barbed wire and a flaming 2-by-4, also wrapped in barbed wire), and a sexualized menace emanating from Edge towards non-wrestler Beulah, which adds up to make a rewarding, but actually slightly uncomfortable viewing experience.  But if you want hardcore, you won't do much better.

Alternatively...  Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome

ECW One Night Stand, 12 June 2005

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15vq3d_mike-awesome-vs-masato-tanaka-one-night-stand-2005_sport

This match is from the first One Night Stand, and is a recapitulation of one of the original ECW's most heated feuds.  There isn't much more to this match other than two really hard bastards beating the shit out of each other for ten minutes, but it's incredibly well done, and very brutal indeed.  Also of note is commentator Joey Styles flipping his lid at Awesome, having still not forgiven him for signing with WCW while still ECW Champion in 2000, thus banging another nail into the coffin of the dying promotion (ECW, not WCW, although the latter only outlived the former by a few weeks).

Not got enough time to watch these matches?  No problem!  If you're really in a rush but still want to see quality wrestling, here's some pocket-sized gems.

Best Match Under 10 Minutes

The Match: Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

WWE Summerslam, 25 August 2002


One issue I (and many people) have with lucha is that quite often the balletic, high-flying action can end up looking overly contrived, for example if the recipient of a dive from the ring to the outside seems to be waiting in place for longer than would be plausible.  There are no such issues with this match, as luchador par excellence Rey Mysterio comes up against Olympic gold medallist and submission expert Kurt Angle.  Angle makes a perfect base for Mysterio's breathtaking acrobatics, being in the right place at the right time in every instance, and making the entire spectacle look as organic as professional wrestling can.  A dizzyingly-paced contest that ranks as probably the best opening match on any wrestling show in history.

Not got ten minutes?  Fear not!

Best Match Under 5 Minutes


The Match: Jun Akiyama (c) vs. Masakatsu Funaki (For the AJPW Triple Crown Championship)

AJPW 40th Anniversary Year Summer Impact, 26 August 2012


The story behind this match is simple and easily communicable even if you don't speak a word of Japanese.  In one corner is Jun Akiyama, a performer tipped for greatness in the 90s who failed to quite hit the heights predicted, but a dependable and greatly accomplished wrestler nonetheless.  His opponent is Masakatsu Funaki, a former MMA fighter of the type that are fairly common in puroresu, a man who in 1993 co-founded a promotion called Pancrase, which used the same rules as wrestling, except the fights were real.  Akiyama knows Funaki is a very dangerous man and thus, after a brief feeling-out period, assaults him with all his killer moves to try and end the match before it gets going.  Funaki responds in kind, and the end result is an entertaining sprint that compresses your typical half-hour epic Japanese main event into just under 5 minutes.

Still a bit too lengthy?  No worries, I've got you covered.

Best Match Under 3 Minutes


The Match: Alberto del Rio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (For the World Heavyweight Championship)

WWE Monday Night Raw, 8 April 2013


In the WWE, there exists a type of match called Money in the Bank, where the participants compete to retrieve a briefcase from the top of a ladder.  Inside the briefcase is a contract entitling the holder to a world title match at a time of their choosing within the next twelve months.  Generally, good guys will try to meet the champion on a level playing field, whereas villains look for opportunities to strike when the champion in hurt.  The latter occurs here, as World Champion Alberto del Rio, just after competing in a gruelling match and having his arm battered, is forced to face show-off heel and cult favourite Dolph Ziggler.  This match happened the night after Wrestlemania 29, and so the crowd is full of hardcore fans from all over the world who chose to stay in the States an extra night.  These hardcore fans love them some Dolph, and consequently when his music hits to announce that he's cashing in his contract, the arena goes absolutely ballistic.  Now usually these Money in the Bank cash-in matches end in seconds; the challenger hits the champion with his finishing move, pins him and wins.  Ziggler tries to put away del Rio with a single move, and del Rio, incredibly, kicks out.  What follows is two and a bit minutes of spirited resistance as the stricken del Rio desperately tries to fight off his fresh opponent, and Ziggler, urged on by the rabid crowd, attempts finally to put the champion away.  Dramatic as anything, and better than many matches ten times the length.

No comments:

Post a Comment